Was reading an article in Shape about how we should change our lives if we're feeling stressed and disgruntled all the time. I feel it's time to change mine, cos tht's exactly how I've been feeling recently. It mentioned in the article that we should try and look for things to look forward to, so that we will feel motivated and eager to wake up everyday. I guess going for training is something new, and sometimes something that I look forward to. Although it does still get me down sometimes, cos it feels like Chong Ghee and HKN again. Always on sides, looking in, never part of the fun.

TA is starting to get better, as I start to gain more control of the notorious class, although I did make a lot of bo-bos with them and it wasn't a perfect class, at least I felt like I managed them in a better manner than previously. And I have a feeling that the P isn't all too pleased with me. I was in the canteen the other day and saw the other NIE peeps in there eating, and there was this guy sitting beside Celine whom I thought was the guy in our group. I didn't notice him at first and was happily talking to Celine, about how I was going out to watch the vball match later, and even suggesting that she skips coursework to go with me, all the while talking with my knee propped on the chair next to her. After that, I happily went to get my food. Then when I turned round to head back to the table, I saw that the guy sitting there was actually the P! I sat directly opposite him and silently ate my food, till he spoke up: "So you're going for the vball match later?" And all I could say was, "Ya", hoping he wouldn't say more. And he didn't, cos after a while he was done and he left the table. That's when I exclaimed to the rest: "Was he here all the time? LIke when I came over, he was sitting next to where I was standing??" And to my utter horror, they replied yes. Strike one there.

Then yesterday, I was in the canteen again, eating with the NIE peeps and my HOD and other teachers were sitting at the table next to us. The P was walking by the canteen, passing by the plot of plants next to the parade sq, and then he stopped, reached into the plants and picked out a vball. Then he headed towards the canteen, calling my HOD: "Who left this ball behind huh?" Then my HOD just took the ball and replied tht he wld go find out. After the P left, my HOD turned round, smiling, and tossed the ball to me: "Evon, I think this is yours." And there folks, that's strike two. Thankfully I don't think I'd be posted to the same sch again, so I can forget that all these ever happened and start afresh next time.

Heard of news that kinda shocked me the other day. About a friend frm my distant past who has returned to continue his education in NTU, which seems too close to comfort. And I don't know if this is good or bad news. Just mixed emotions whenever it comes to him. No point fretting about tht now; I might not even see him at all. Maybe Bin Bin is right, I should just deem the past as something tht happened cos things like that are hard to predict, and it might not have been his fault totally. Maybe I should try and forget about it, since I wasn't the one affected by his decision. It just shocked me to find out tht he is tht kinda guy. And this person used to be a sort of idol to me, only to turn out a let down.

Caught up with plenty of people from my past yesterday, when I went to SBC for the sch team's match. Saw Xueli there, a pal from Chong Ghee days, and Hong Peng, 2 of my old coaches (sec sch and poly), as well as Lao Heng of course. Then went to Northpoint and saw 2 peeps that totally surprised me - Veron and Mr Sim, both my sec sch acquiantances. Veron was in bball with me, whilst Mr Sim was teacher-in-charge for bball guys. Such a coincidence tht I met them there, who were talking at the base of the escalator cos they too met coincidentally. Gee... it was a day full of reminiscence. Maybe it's a sign, for me to try and look at life now the same way I used to - so carefree and embracing every moment, where people meant so much to me and I got along well with everyone. Somehow those feelings seem so distant, that it seems hard to retrieve. It is time that I made-over my life.

9:51 AM ·