needy vs deprivation of attention

What's the difference between being needy and being deprived of attention? I guess the answer to that, is a thin line. It depends on what the person thinks - whether attention and all those things matter to the person.

I constantly think that I'm deprived of attention. Constantly finding myself on the listening end in conversations. It just seems to me that people aren't interested in me, what I have to say, or anything to do with me, for that matter. Perhaps that's why I sometimes perceive that humans are selfish and self-centered creatures, craving attention for themselves, neglecting to listen and share the time and actually listen to what others have to say, more concerned with letting people hear what they have to say instead. I confess that I am guilty of this as well, thus my entries on my blog.

Instead of talking to people who aren't keen on listening to what I have to say, at least I don't see people's responses when they read my entries, and I don't have to pretend that I'm not hurt when they ignore me or seem uninterested in what I say. At least I can just voice my thoughts out here and know that people who read this only because they choose to, and that they have the freedom to stop reading anytime they get bored, without hurting my feelings otherwise, since I would have no idea whether the person read the entire entry, or got so bored out of their minds that they stopped at the first sentance.

Perhaps it shouldn't bother me so, but humans are creatures that crave for attention, that need to company of other humans, need to feel accepted by others of the same species. That is why humans are constantly on the look-out for their soul mates, the ones to spend the rest of their lives with so that they don't have to resort to pathetically mingling with other creatures for the rest of their sorry lives.

Where are the people who care about me and who honestly want to know more about me, about my life, about my troubles? Those who will lend a listening ear to me when I just need to rant and rave about the stupidest things to onlookers, but that mean so much to me? Someone who can stop talking about themselves to just listen to what others have to say? The only person I can think of is in a profession that makes tons of money by just doing exactly this - shrinks. Are people really so concerned about themselves that they fail to realise that in their constant complaint about their lives, the people whom they are complaining to are, in actual fact, human, and sometimes, God forbid, would like to talk about themselves as well. Wow! Something to ponder about, isn't it? It's high time we all realise that the world doesn't just revolve around a single person, i.e. you. But the world is made up of colonies of people, communities of people, families and 'friends' who need each other to live a sane life. However, it is this exact need to feel accepted and included in the human species that constantly brings us great worries and stress.

Perhaps I just care too much about myself. I am a self-centered bitch. No wonder no one wants to listen to me, to share my woes. People just wanna talk, and I'm always there to lend a listening ear. God forbid that I may have my own problems and worries that I wanna talk about. Sure, just tune out and nod mindlessly at what I say, or even better, interrupt me anytime you want. Why does it matter? I'm just an insignificant twit, am I not?

I've had enough of my own ranting, haven't you? Just shut up and move on. No one's reading this crap anyways.

11:58 PM ·