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"stepping out on my own"
Friday, February 18, 2005
i hate myself

Yesterday was NP's last match... and it's yet another losing season... we've lost in all our games... we all lost... but i lost the most yesterday... i lost my dignity, my reputation, my respect for myself... i hate myself for what i did... and i am truly very sorry for it...

I don't want to go into details here, but i just know that i did something terrible... something terribly unsportsmanly... and my one rash action caused a tirade of reactions... i don't think before i act and i am very sorry for that... i am sorry to those whom i've disappointed, angered and hurt... i'm really sorry for my actions... if there's one thing i can take back, i'd definitely take that back... of all the things i regret doing in my life, this definitely is on top of the list... i haven't felt this guilty in such a long time... but i guess i deserve it...

Thanks to those who've consoled me even though i've humiliated them and disappointed them... especially Dan... i feel like i've let down so many people with that one action...