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"stepping out on my own"




Thursday, February 17, 2005
bball havock...

Just when we thought we've got our groove on, we lose it once again...

I'm talking about today's, or rather, yesterday's (cos it's after 12mn) IVP bball match... we were playing against NUS... and we were playing rather well at the start in fact... we only lost by about 5 points at the end of the first quarter... but then after the first half, our team kinda lacked the spirit and energy to persue and persist... so it was kinda sad...

I only played a total of about 5 min... Orh Ba and Dan came down to watch... so embarrassing... i sucked at the match... didn't even manage to score... i committed a bad mistake, which was to tap the ball into the opponents hands when i should have taken it down... my bad... but it didn't qualify for me to have been benched for so long... but whatever, as i said in my previous entry, i'm done with this and i'm resigned to whatever she deals me...

I was put in the last 4 min where the team started playing man to man defence... coach said the defence would be crutial and i was to play a big part in that... but the thing is, i think she's only saying that to make me feel better for being benched for so long... in fact, i'm the only year 3 player who's been benched for such a long time... well, f it... it'sthe last match tmr anyways and i doubt i'll be getting much playing time tmr too... she really does make me feel like crap and lose whatever sliver of confidence i have in me... f it...

Anyways, i figured the putting me in to help out the defence was a lie cos i remember her pulling me out of the match in the past whenever we played man to man defence... so it's a little hard to believe that she'd wanna put me in to help with the defence when she's been hinting that i'm bad at defence...

I was kinda peeved by then cos i've been benched for so long... and within the first few sec of my entrance onto the court, this opponent grabs my hand while posting up and i was quite mad... so i pushed her arm away and all... i hate it when pple do that during matches... it's so freaking irritating... anyways, there was this other moment when this opponent came up to me when i just received the bball and smacked my hand... i shouted foul but apparently the referees were not interested in my plea... so i was fuming mad by then... i elbowed her on my way back to defence... and on the defensive side, she was stuck in the corner with the ball by me and she kinda lost balance and stepped over the line, with a little push from me actually... another interesting moment where i lost my temper was when i was attacking once again and this girl pushes me from behind... i was about to receive the ball from April and this girl pushes me, so i lost my balance and she actually poked me in the eye too, causing my contacts to fall out... i just opened my arms and accidentally hit her in the eye... seriously, i didn't mean to do anything then... i didn't even know i had done anything... i only knew of it when Dan and Orh Ba told me... they say i actually punched her in the face and she fell... but i wasn't aware of that cos i was off to the referee to tell him that i needed to fix my lenses... well, not that it mattered if i did know about it anyways...

Well, so it was a high-tempered played by me today... i was just going all out by the end cos there was nothing to lose anyways... so i just did whatever i had to or felt like i had to... and the result was this... we lost by abt 20 points, i think... it wasn't too bad as compared to Mon's match...

I was actually mocked by my lecturer, Craig... i was telling him how i had to leave class at about 3.45pm for my bball match and he actually retorted back if i am actually tall enough to play bball... wah... i was so surprised... haha... but it was funny... even though the joke was on me...

Was supposed to go over to coach's house tonight after the match, but i ended up going to Bukit Ho Swee to play bball instead... it was tiring and i had no idea what i was playing... anyways, tmr's match is NP's last match... i'm not holding on to high hopes on appearing on court much tmr...