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"stepping out on my own"
Sunday, January 09, 2005
ponderment....

i) The value of money

I'm glad that i understand the value of money... i've been brought up to think that money is essential and it doesn't come along easily... you have to earn it... equivalent trade, they call it... you do something for something in return... that's one of my principles in life too...

I've learnt how i have to control my own spending, after an expensive $4,000 lesson... if you splurge, you lose... now i know... a little too late though... haiz... it's just heart-breaking to see your account balance rapidly decreasing as your passbook updates keep increasing... irony eh? geez...

It's never a bad idea to save up and only get what we truly need... but then again, thanks to consumerism and great advertisements, what do we really need? a shampoo that tames our unruly hair? some facial foam which costs over $10 to clean our face, when soap works just as well? i dunno... i myself am struggling with the 'truth'...

ii) What do i mean when i say no

Well, it's back to the theory that men are from Mars and women are from Venus... men just don't get women, right? the female species is complicated and difficult... they can cry, laugh, scream, become hysterical, all in a matter of seconds, no? unpredictable as they may be, i can only say this to guys - pay more attention to them and you'll get what they mean and want... it's like with babies... they can't talk and all they do is cry... but u pay attention to them and u slowly come to realise what exactly it is that they need or want...

SO here's a lesson to all guys out there - THE FEMALE SPECIES NEEDS ATTENTION, ALL YOUR LOVE AND ATTENTION, SO GIVE IT TO THEM!

Anyways, back to 'What i mean when i say no'... here's a tip... this applies to me, mostly, but i guess this goes for some other girls too...

When u see me eyeing something in a shop, briefly glancing at it then commenting, "That's nice." that means i don't want it...

When u see me eyeing something and sticking my nose up to the glass, staring and scrutinising it for some time (well, 1 min is more than enuff) it means that i want the thing... u see me eyeing it and then u ask, "You want?", i may say, no... but i might not mean it...

If it's cheap, i'll say no... then consider and still stand in front of it... still eyeing it even after i've said no... then it means i want it and i'm just not telling u... i want u to telepathically understand my meaning, kapish?

If it's expensive and i say no, yet i'm fiddling with it and looking at it, it means it's expensive and i'm too embarrassed or shy to ask for it... but i really really want it!

If i see something i like and i say no when u offer to buy it for me, and u pick it up and attempt to approach the cashier, and i snatch the thing away from you, it means that i want the thing, but i want you to surprise me with it and not just buy it like that!

As i said, the female species is complicated... i don't think this clarifies matters in any way, right? hah... men!

iii) Solely about me...

Here's about me... i love to be surprised, but in a pleasant kinda way... i don't need you to buy stuff for me to make me happy, i just need to spend good quality time with someone and i'll be happy...

we can have nothing, but as long as we talk, have fun, i'm fine with it... even if we're stuck in the rain and have nothing but each other, i'm fine... i just want you to realise this - i want nothing more than to be with you... i enjoy your company and all i want is your 100% attention... i want you to listen to me and talk to me... and i'll give you the same attention... without any interruptions or distractions... a world where there's only you and me... no one or nothing else... we just need one another... money is just a figment of imagination... u think it brings u happiness, it brings others happines, when u use it to buy something someone wants... but it's just materialistic happiness... what i want is something much more than that... a contentment that not only hits deep in your mind, but in your heart as well... something that'll you'll remember for life... that one moment when the two of us are together, when time stops for the two of us, no one else, nothing else... just you and me...

thanks dear for trying to make me feel like a princess... i guess now u understand why i didn't really feel like one... but i really appreciate what you have done for me... thanks dear... love you...