wallflower

Sunday, January 23, 2005

my goal in life?

As the days pass by, i've suddenly come to grips that i'll be graduating soon... no more craddled and protected by the 'for education purposes' excuse... no more stupid mistakes allowed... no more protection and guidance from lecturers... it's into the real world...

As i look around at my fellow-MCMers, i've realised that some have already found themselves a good job, or at least good prospective jobs... free-lance writers, photographers, working with people in the media industry, making important and very useful connections... as for me... nothing. i dun even think i've got what it takes to be in the media industry... it's one that requires good communication skills and great networking helps... i'm just not that kind of a person... a little too late to realise this huh? yeah, i think so too... maybe i should have gone to JC... then i'd still be in the arms of the education system... in Uni studying and it'll be another 2 - 3 years before i start worrying about what i'd like to do for life... or for the moment at least... life's full of 'maybe's and 'what if's isn't it?

I look at all those around me in sch... i can see where they're going, what they want to persue... i can see the potential actresses, the potential DJs, journalists, editors, tv personale... and me... i see nothing... what lies ahead for me? the future is bleak, going by how it is now... and how i see it now... i have no plans, no nothing... the time where 'let's just wait and see' is no longer applicable... maybe i'm just not cut out for this industry... perhaps i should just sign on in the military or police... a guaranteed job for years with a reasonable pay... great for people with no ambitions, like myself...

I feel like i'm letting myself down... i dunno what it is that i want... they say if u know what u want, then go for it... i dun have the courage to do so... i'm afraid of rejection... that alone is one huge barrier, isn't it? i have no goal, no purpose... doesn't that make me a failure already?

Maybe things will work out somehow... i won't know... no one will... hoping and praying just isn't good enough now, is it? i wish it was...


"stepping out on my own" Amanda Arthur Elaine Eileen Ginger Helios Jomel Jonathan Kino Melvin Mich Mychowchows Nuriah Rosenna Shaff Shoes Sheryl Singapore English UNFCCC Vodka Zijian September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009	Sunday, January 23, 2005 my goal in life? As the days pass by, i've suddenly come to grips that i'll be graduating soon... no more craddled and protected by the 'for education purposes' excuse... no more stupid mistakes allowed... no more protection and guidance from lecturers... it's into the real world... As i look around at my fellow-MCMers, i've realised that some have already found themselves a good job, or at least good prospective jobs... free-lance writers, photographers, working with people in the media industry, making important and very useful connections... as for me... nothing. i dun even think i've got what it takes to be in the media industry... it's one that requires good communication skills and great networking helps... i'm just not that kind of a person... a little too late to realise this huh? yeah, i think so too... maybe i should have gone to JC... then i'd still be in the arms of the education system... in Uni studying and it'll be another 2 - 3 years before i start worrying about what i'd like to do for life... or for the moment at least... life's full of 'maybe's and 'what if's isn't it? I look at all those around me in sch... i can see where they're going, what they want to persue... i can see the potential actresses, the potential DJs, journalists, editors, tv personale... and me... i see nothing... what lies ahead for me? the future is bleak, going by how it is now... and how i see it now... i have no plans, no nothing... the time where 'let's just wait and see' is no longer applicable... maybe i'm just not cut out for this industry... perhaps i should just sign on in the military or police... a guaranteed job for years with a reasonable pay... great for people with no ambitions, like myself... I feel like i'm letting myself down... i dunno what it is that i want... they say if u know what u want, then go for it... i dun have the courage to do so... i'm afraid of rejection... that alone is one huge barrier, isn't it? i have no goal, no purpose... doesn't that make me a failure already? Maybe things will work out somehow... i won't know... no one will... hoping and praying just isn't good enough now, is it? i wish it was... 1:11 PM ·