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Photobucket
Photobucket
"stepping out on my own"
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
the death of a pillow

i can't believe it! it's gone!!! my mom threw it out!!! my favourite pillow, the one i've had since i was a baby... it's gone!!! i'm so freaking sad... i can't imagine that this day would come... i just came home and when i hugged my pillow, it's not the same anymore!!! it's not my pillow anymore!!! i want my pillow!!! it's followed me through so many years and so many phases of my life... it's become a part of me... i wanted to keep it till im old or something... but now, it's gone!! and i didn't even get a last hug or anything like that... i'm so freaking depressed right now... i don't really feel like doing anything.... i just wanna get hold of my mom and ask her where my old pillow is and why she did this... she could have at least told me or something... imagine the shock i had when i realised it was gone... i searched high and low in my house and even through the dustbin but it's nowhere to be found... i know it seems silly for a 19 year old to weep over a pillow, but it's my pillow that i've had since i was a child... i even used to talk to it and hug it everywhere i went in the house... i still do hug it everywhere... i cried into it so many times... it's carried the tears of my life and it's been bashed up by me when i'm mad... been flung around, been chewed on... i've did so many things with it, it's just become a part of my life that i find hard losing... but now it's gone... and i still can't believe it... i'm thinking that it may be stashed somewhere or something... and it's not really gone... but in my heart, i know there's a sickening feeling inside that tells me that it's no longer around... i dunno... i just feel so sad... if i wasn't in the right sense, i would have tried to do something stupid just to get it back... many may say it's just a pillow, but it isn't... it's a part of my life.. a part of my childhood... something so valuable that money can't buy... there's no way any other pillow or whatever can replace it... it's irreplacable! normally when i'm feeling as shitty as this, i'll hug it and cry into... but now, i've got nothing to hug or cry into... how will i ever get used to it not being around anymore? i always turn to it for comfort and now there's nothing... i dunno how i'll get through this day... this orrid day...