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"stepping out on my own"




Tuesday, September 14, 2004
14 sept cont

just came back not long ago from training in NP... had the sports & wellness attachment students there so it was quite a slack training... didn't do anything much in actual fact... but enjoyed myself nevertheless... miss having trainings and all... kinda tried to avoid the coach... not much face to see her after being gone for so long... but she didn't express her displeasure with me so i guess that's a good sign...

oh, tribune has finally gone to the printers... YES! haha... watch out for it when it comes out k? my pic is in there cos of 'my' editorial... actually, technically, it's not mine... cos most of it was not written by me... oh wells...

i'm such a bitch... my mouth is really always sprouting things i shouldn't be saying... sometimes even i am surprised at what comes out from my mouth... oh wells... i guess i really need to reassess myself as a person...

my mom has given me the green light to go thailand... as long as i get enough money tht is... but kinda afraid, with all te terrorism and esp bird flu incidences... but then again... i get to shop my heart out! haha... hope the situation improves rapidly...

i wonder if people actually choose their friends... do u choose who to befriend? do u look at someone and say, that's someone i'd never be friends with... how do u define friendship? a person whom u know barely but have seen and talked to before? or someone u know truly and deeply... perhaps not to the extent of understading the person completely but well enough to know his/her likes and dislikes.

i don't understand how friends can stop being friends... someone whom u have been so close to in the past suddenly seems so distant... all of a sudden... and there was no fight, no nothing... it just... happened... u don't know why but u just stopped contacting each other and with time, u drift apart... it's amazing how this happens, no? people who used to be able to talk about everything sudden become strangers... someone whom u can't even look in the eye... u used to be so close, and suddenly, u find yourself replaced by someone else... the sight of them together irks you and you can't help but look away... i guess that's why communication is key in a relationship... any relationship actually... and i'm referring to just friendship in this case...

i miss having that person as a friend but i still can't bring myself to look at him or talk to him... i have no idea what has happened and i just seem out of the loop... i'd like to know but am afraid to confront the issue... he doesn't even seem aware of it... i dunno... maybe he's trying to hide something? the idea of losing a good and close friend is quite daunting but it happens in life... from now on, i hope my friends remain as my friends till the day we die... otherwise, it may just be too much for me to take...